How to Practice Singing (Even on Bad Days)

Singing through 2020 (00:19)

Jordanne: This is the Singers Tension Podcast, the podcast by singers, for singers. Welcome, Susan, to the first-ever episode of the Singers Tension Podcast. It’s so nice to have you with me. Susan is a soprano in Montreal, Canada, who’s currently singing Lucia with Jeunesses Musicales. Today we’re going to talk about anxiety during COVID as a singer, and practicing. So the first thing, Susan: how are you doing with COVID? Do you feel it’s affecting you?

Susan: It’s definitely affecting me, but I’m doing okay right now. It’s really amazing to be back in rehearsals. That’s made a huge difference to how I’m feeling generally, and musically it’s really inspiring, especially working on an opera when there’s very little opera happening in Canada right now. I really feel blessed, but it’s been a rough time since March.

Jordanne: It’s really awesome that Jeunesses Musicales found a way to keep all the singers they’d hired for this, because it’s usually a tour across at least Eastern Canada. But I know you’ve lost a lot of contracts, and things have fallen through the cracks.

Susan: Absolutely. I lost a lot of work, and that was really painful and stressful, financially and also just in terms of having things to focus on in life. Musicians work so hard and dedicate so much time, so performing isn’t just a job for me. It really feeds my soul. This summer I was supposed to be singing my very first Lucia, which is a dream role for me. It’s one I love so much, I’ve always wanted to sing it, and it suits my voice really well. The project has been salvaged to a degree: we’re doing a digital version, and I’m really happy about that. But I’m a live performer. That’s what I really love. So it was quite devastating.

Rehearsing opera in masks (02:23)

Jordanne: I know you just had one of your Lucia rehearsals, and the process was totally different.

Susan: We have to follow a lot of guidelines. We wash our hands all the time and sterilize props between uses. We have to wear masks, and not our own; we wear the blue medical masks and change them every few hours. And there’s distancing, of course. The toughest adjustment, and I think my colleagues would agree, is that we wear masks all the time, even while we’re singing. It feels uncomfortable. You don’t sound the same in your own ear, and you don’t get the same full, resonant sound from the other singers. You feel the mask on your face and you’re conscious of it all the time.

Susan: I’m trying not to let it change what I’m doing, but at the beginning it’s inevitably an adjustment. To deal with it, I have to trust the sensation rather than the sound. It’s the same idea as singing in a bad acoustic: you don’t change how you make the sound just because you hear yourself differently. You focus on the physical action and sensation in your own instrument that creates the sound. We’re all working through it, and it’s going to be fine, but it has been tough.

Jordanne: Singing is really symbiotic. Even if you don’t know anything about opera, when you go see one, something in you relaxes, especially around your vocal apparatus, because those singers have released everything through their throat. So in rehearsal, if you’re missing those overtones and the full sound from the other singers, whether you’re aware of it or not you’re probably picking up some tension or lack of space from what they’re producing. Have you noticed that?

Susan: A little, yes. I’m lucky because everyone in this cast is a really good singer, and they’re managing well with the masks, so there’s not much technical weirdness. It’s more that I miss the sound. Being in a rehearsal with other good singers is so inspiring and motivating, and right now the sound is muffled, so it isn’t quite the same experience.

Jordanne: Do you feel you can make sounds as beautiful and artistic as you want, or is that affected by the masks?

Susan: It’s getting easier. It was definitely affected the first couple of days, but I’m finding ways to work with it now. It was just a matter of getting used to it.

Jordanne: And you have to wear them while you’re acting, too.

Susan: Yes, which is also really weird. We’re telling a story and playing characters off each other, and we can’t see each other’s whole faces. But it’s been a good challenge, because when you’re acting your whole body is involved in embodying the character, not just your face. It’s forced me to be more conscious of that, and our director is giving us a lot of feedback on it.

Jordanne: I remember clowning classes at Opera NUOVA where you put on a mask so no one could see your face, and you had to do a scene using only your body. It felt very silly to be that dramatic, and it wouldn’t suit many roles to be so animated, but it really stretches you past what feels comfortable. On stage everything gets minimized for the audience, so you do have to be larger. We don’t usually think about how our body shows being tired or angry, and when you’re only allowed to show it with your body, it’s a really useful way to develop your physicality as an actor.

Susan: That’s absolutely true. But not being able to see faces does suck. I’d really love to see what my colleagues are doing.

Anxiety, motivation and the unknown (07:28)

Jordanne: When you go to practice, have you noticed that with everything going on you feel less motivated?

Susan: It’s been really tough. Right now I’m in rehearsal, so I feel okay, but it’s been a roller coaster since March and I’ve experienced all the negative feelings. For me the toughest thing has been the unknown. That’s created a lot of anxiety, and anxiety is an enemy for a singer. It’s something singers deal with anyway because it’s a stressful life, but I’ve had to work through it especially these last few months.

Susan: There are thoughts in my head that don’t help me, like: it’s pointless, your career is over when it’s barely started, because the industry is collapsing and won’t recover. Or that singing isn’t important in the face of a huge health crisis. I don’t actually believe that; I think art makes life meaningful and is really important. But sometimes that thought comes into my head and makes it hard to be motivated to practice. And I’m sad it’s going to be a long time before I’m on stage in front of an audience. A lot is unknown, and a lot has been lost.

Jordanne: And when you go to practice, there’s nothing concrete on the horizon to prepare for. October is when classical singers do all their auditions, and most companies have just cancelled next season. So you think, why practice when there’s basically nothing to audition for for a year? You don’t even know what it will look like. Will we perform in person? Will this go on for two years? But on the other hand, if you stop practicing for a year because you don’t see the point, your voice really suffers. It’s not like a bike you can walk away from and come back to. It’s more like being an Olympic athlete. You need to stay on it very consistently.

Susan: Absolutely. And anxiety isn’t just in your mind. As an Alexander Technique practitioner, you probably know that better than I do. It translates into your body. It affects your posture, your breathing, and it creates tension, and as a singer your body is your instrument. Emotions are physical. They don’t happen in isolation in your brain. We live in a society that tends to intellectualize things, so we give more power to the thoughts that come with our feelings than to the physical experience of them.

Susan: You can’t just decide, “I will not be anxious now, I have to practice.” We do sometimes have to do things we don’t feel like doing, but for me it’s a question of whether we do them in cooperation with our physical state or against it. I have to acknowledge how I’m feeling, including the sensation of it through my whole body, before I can address it. What’s happening in my neck? Are my shoulders collapsing? Is my jaw tight? Am I holding my breath, or holding muscles that stop me from breathing fully?

From noticing tension to releasing it (11:31)

Jordanne: So you’re using mindfulness to check in with your body before you go into intense singing like Lucia. Acknowledging it matters, but what’s your process for going from “I know I’m anxious” to being in a physically open space for singing?

Susan: I’m scanning all the time. After I’ve addressed what I notice by consciously releasing muscles or adjusting my posture, if I’m feeling really bad I’ll start a practice session with breathing exercises. I might meditate, which helps me notice other things in my body and calms my mind so negative thoughts aren’t feeding how I feel. And pretty consistently, even when I’m feeling well, I do yoga as part of my warm-up. I find that really helpful.

Susan: When I take a breath in singing, I try not to think of it as taking a breath. It’s more allowing the breath to come into my body. One exercise I do is about finding how my body will inhale naturally without me trying to control it: contracting all the muscles and then releasing them to let the air come in, over and over, without breaking to breathe differently in between. It really relaxes me, and it also engages that process.

Jordanne: I really love the idea that the breath comes in not because you take it, but as a reaction to releasing muscles. Most singers have such a hard time with breathing. We get told to breathe from the stomach or the back, or “your shoulders are moving, don’t do that,” and it becomes a game of manipulating your body. In reality, if there’s a huge physical movement when you breathe in, there’s probably tension in the wrong places. So if the breath just comes in and your shoulders still move a lot, that’s a sign to look at the tension and alignment causing it.

Susan: That makes total sense. So much of what we do comes down to breathing, and not just for singing.

Jordanne: There’s also a rush, especially for anyone who wants to sing professionally, to be at 100% and be the perfect singer right now. Body work, breathing and meditation are slow. You’re sitting with whatever’s going on in your body and changing it with your mind, your psychophysical relationship. You’re saying, “I know my habit, and I’m going to choose to release or inhibit that tension and do something else.” That can take a long time, and then you think, “I didn’t even sing today, so did I practice?” But you did, because you dealt with your instrument. It needs to be aligned and relaxed before you make a sound, or the sound will just be tight.

Susan: Body awareness is really important for singing, period. It’s a constant process. You can’t be aware of your body for 45 minutes a day while you sing and ignore it the rest of the time. Whatever you bring into your practice is what you’ve been doing the other 23 hours. You sleep for maybe ten hours on whatever mattress, wake up with your neck tight and feeling misaligned, and you have to deal with that before you sing. That’s what I mean by working with your body instead of against it. If you have no awareness of what’s happening and just try to push through, it won’t work as well as it could.

Jordanne: It becomes like slamming your head against a wall and asking, “Why am I not getting better? I’m practicing.” Well, you’re practicing the wrong way.

Achievement versus self-compassion (16:37)

Jordanne: Here’s a shift, but I think it’s an interesting conversation happening right now, especially on social media. On one side: we’re stuck at home with all this free time, so we should be achieving more and working harder. On the other: you’re living through a pandemic that’s already mentally stressful, so give yourself compassion and don’t expect so much of yourself. Where do you fall on that spectrum?

Susan: As an artist, the work is never done. Sometimes that’s inspiring and sometimes it’s overwhelming, and during the pandemic it’s been more overwhelming, because I haven’t been feeling great about the state of the world, the industry, and how precarious my future work is. A lot of my practicing is something I have to make a decision to do. I don’t like the word “force,” but it’s not always something I feel inspired to do, and when I’m not practicing it comes up a lot in my head that I should be.

Susan: One thing that’s really effective for me is telling myself when I’m going to practice, then really focusing and dedicating that time. I try to be as distraction-free as possible so it’s really effective. Then, when I’ve put in my time and done what I need to do, the work isn’t finished, but I can still close my score and walk away. It can be done for the day. The more consistent I am, the more I can ease that guilt about not working hard enough.

Susan: And balance in life is so important. Music isn’t everything. Having other things you care about makes you a better artist, for your mental and physical health, which we’ve already talked about, and so that you have something to say when you make music. Music connects people. How do you relate to an opera character when all you’ve done is practice and study? Your perspective matters to the interpretation, and if you haven’t lived, you’re missing the part that connects with your audience. When I sing, I’m telling a story as much as I’m making music.

Life experience as an actor’s toolkit (19:38)

Jordanne: I have strong feelings about acting, especially for opera singers. You absolutely need something to draw on. If you study Uta Hagen and other great acting teachers, there’s transference: you take something from your own life that makes you feel the emotion you want the character to portray, and apply it. The audience sees the character living their circumstances, but you’re relating something completely different from your own life. Without that life experience, all you can really do is play every character as someone who compulsively studies.

Susan: That’s true. And even if you can’t personally identify with everything a character goes through, living your life and experiencing things makes you better able to empathize and understand where they’re coming from. The more of life you experience, the more dimension you can bring to a character.

Jordanne: That brings it back to whether you practice more during a pandemic because you have free time, or less. As you said, choose a time to practice. Make it a regular thing, like going to the gym or eating lunch, a little bit every day if that’s what fits, but consistently. Then acknowledge that not singing right now doesn’t mean you aren’t learning something you can apply as an artist. If you practice body awareness all day, you’re practicing all day. The more you align your body while you wash the dishes or brush your teeth, the more it integrates into your singing and lets you move freely on stage without compromising your vocal apparatus.

Jordanne: And look at how you’re reacting to this pandemic. That’s something you can draw on later when you play a character who is extremely anxious. Pay attention to how you feel right now. It can be a useful way to think of hard times: they inform your future work.

Susan: I don’t think about that very often, but it’s really compelling. Maybe I should think about it more.

Jordanne: It’s something to play with. And find time to just be happy and be a person. I know many singers with a constant fear of “if I don’t make it as a singer, I don’t know who I am.” You need to explore who you are so you can bring more to your art, but also so that when everything falls through, you still know what brings you joy and can use it to cope with anxiety. I love playing with makeup and watching horror movies. Some days I’ll spend time doing that and practice tomorrow, because today I’m not in the right mental space. It’s important to be consistent, but it’s also important to honor where your mental health is and make choices based on that.

Knowing when to step away (24:44)

Susan: That’s so true. You have to practice a lot, but sometimes the best solution is to step away. It happens on a smaller scale too. If there are a couple of bars that are really technically difficult and I keep going over them and they’re not working, it’s tempting to practice them to death. But if it’s not working, all I’m doing is building muscle memory for a bad habit. That’s when I need to step back and say: this isn’t perfect, I am going to work on it, but next time I need to approach it differently, and I don’t know how yet. So I’ll move to a different part of the piece or different music. And sometimes you do need to take a whole day off. If you’re really not in a good mental state and you don’t absolutely need to practice that day, it’s okay.

Practicing as play (25:44)

Jordanne: If you notice you don’t want to practice or sing, start approaching it like a game. I tell my students all the time: when you go to practice, play. See what you can do differently. If you only take one page of music that day, how many ways can you practice it? Can you do it once thinking only about releasing your jaw? Can you do it on a different vowel? I know you and I have talked about a teacher who had you lie on the ground. It’s funny, but it’s also beautiful, because we don’t have to be standing up to find our voice. When you come at practice with that silliness and curiosity, you get more interested in it because it’s fun.

Susan: Absolutely. Singers have a reputation for strange exercises, and for good reason. Sometimes I make animal sounds, or yell, or buzz, or hum. It’s not music, just making sound with my body, seeing how it feels and discovering what I need to do to create certain colours. It’s getting familiar with your instrument, and it can be really inspiring, but it also helps technically. Singing lying on the ground isn’t achieving something specific. It’s approaching sound from a different place, so you feel and find different things, and some of them are useful.

Jordanne: Last question: is there an exercise or silly thing from your practice that you’d recommend people try?

Susan: Lip trills. If I feel I’m not in my body while going through music, I’ll lip trill, because you can’t lip trill without engaging your breath. It’s physically impossible. Sometimes I’ll buzz through an entire piece without stopping, and sometimes I won’t breathe where I planned to. I just keep buzzing to the end of my breath. It really wakes me up and gets things engaged.

Jordanne: I do that too. For anyone who isn’t an advanced singer yet, when you start lip trills, watch whether you’re tightening your jaw just to get your lips to trill. If your jaw is tight while you trill, there’ll be tightness in your jaw when you sing too. If you can release your jaw while you do it, it’s a huge help in carrying your air through the music. Then go back through, still breathing where you want to breathe, but thinking about continuing to sing, so you get longer lines.

Susan: In all my warm-ups I try to be aware of what I’m doing. When I’m lip trilling I’m not doing exactly what I do physically when I sing. I’ll try to release my jaw, but it isn’t the same thing as singing. The purpose of lip trills for me is the breath, the long phrases and engaging the body. It’s just another tool for your practice session.

Jordanne: I love that. Thank you so much, Susan, for joining us on the Singers Tension Podcast. I’m Jordanne Erichsen, and we hope this inspires you to go out, sing and make music.